Not ashamed to praise myself

Ok, i'm getting a bit philosphical these days again.

Was just spending time alone, after work hours. Didn't end up at the gym. Wasn't feeling that nice today. In fact was feeling negative.

I mean, on the natural you won't have a balloon on top of your head, telling the rest of the world that you felt like crap and small and little and just simply negative.

I have those days. And today happens to be one of that.

I guess, it's an extension of PMSs that i've been having (the Pre, Present, Post). Yeah, as much as i don't like it, i have that 3 all rolled into one whole week. Not to forget the car-sick experience.

I brought out my gym gear and ready for gym, and ended up, there was quite a bit of things, and feeling really tired (ok, i really have to stop my insane habit of youtube-ing at unearthly hours). So i just went out to the library and return my book. I'm a good borrower ok, i return my books on time.

So i had like 7pm onwards for myself. Walking to library, walking to Delifrance for dinner (really regretted that.. D at Bugis is terrible) and walking around purchasing my needed (it's important wear).

WHAT'S WRONG?!

Ok, i know it's like.... "Huh?!" Well, i guess i'm at the age where i have to stop feeling ashame when i need to buy such stuff. I'm expecting reactions on my tag board tomorrow from known and unknown about how shameful for me to blog about such things.

Well... i'm at a grand ole 30-3, and i guess, i'm still pretty raw at buying such stuff. I always remember myself blushing wheneven i need to buy the necessary at Watson's and wished all the men in the world just don't enter the store until i get my purchases, and yes, i try hiding it like as if the whole world knows that PMS days are at hand. I cringe whenever i'm out with Mom when she pops by the Triumph section at the Departmental store and started to feel the lingerie, and banter with the promoter. And when Mom-dearest wants me to try out, i always blush in embarassment and looked around, hoping not to see anyone that i know.

But now at this age, i think i need to step out of the box. Now my thoughts are, if u need it, then u have to buy it la. U have to use it wha.

Today is one of that days that i have to get it. I walked into the department store, head towards that department. With a heavy heart, i looked around, thinking that i buy quickly and go home la. And ended up, i spent a good ole 30 mins there (inclusive of try-outs). Not, i'm not auntie in the way i buy things. I got what i wanted, and just buy it! But i was totally embarassed when i saw a few men walking nearby and just happened to look in and saw me with my needed that i was holding, in a rather embarassing manner.

I wished i had a hole to hide my face.

But then, SO WHAT? I need to buy it la. So see la. It's a natural thing to be buying.

I know when Chien reads this, she'll be "right...." and this face -_-"'

And to many of the younger gals out there, who's like me, totally embarassed when come to buying such things, you know what, when u come to my age, you will learn to be not bothered about it.

I think i have overcomed it, since i dared to blog about it.

If u still don't know what i'm talking about for the past 20 paragraphs, I bought L-i-n-g-e-r-i-e for myself, ok?!

Oh, with spending time on myself, with retail therapy of some sorts, i suddenly had this thought. Why we have negative thoughts? Is it because we were criticized for things we done/failed to do? Or the day started on the wrong side of bed?

Whatever it is, it shapes how you perceive yourself. Today was a not-so-nice day for me. And when self-expectation doesn't match performance, negativity sets in. So, i felt ugly, stupid, slow, dull...... (add any other negative thing you feel).

But, when u spend time with yourself, you allow yourself to do what u want, eat what u want, read what u want, buy what u want.

I did that. And i suddenly got this revelation:
I am my biggest critic. And my negative thoughts stems from what i feel about myself. It's time to tell yourself to just move on.

Even the Bible tells us that the mind is a very powerful tool. Yes, Death and Life lies in the power of the tongue, but the mind generates what the mouth speaks. So, it all boils down to thoughts.

When there is negative thinking in the mind, your mouth speaks negativity, and expands it in the way that you never thought possible.

The remedy is this:
You reply your greatest critic (yourself): yes, BUT, i am still pretty, clever, sexy (pun intended), capable, so there!!!

Just zip the mouth of your greatest critic, and let your mind be positive, and as you set your mind to be positive, things wil turn out well.

So, start talking to your greatest critic positively from today!!!



Ps: Meant it for a short entry, but ended up, i blah... for such a long entry. It's ok, since it's such a meaningful entry.