Hope it makes u laugh.
#886, 8 days, pages 42-43, by Florence Fong.
P.s: Not bothered to reference properly la. As long as i acknowledge the person ya, i didn't plagarize ah!!
FF wrote in this week's edition about 50 things that makes us grin as we go through our daily lives. Here goes, to crazy html-ing again.
- Smugly telling a cab drover to, "keep the change when it's only 10 cents" (Haha... can't deny there are times when i'm really cheapo to take by the 10 cents too)
- When your doctor asks, "Would you like 2 days MC?" (Ed: Ask and you shall receive :) My brother ever got his doc giving him 11 whooping days of MC!!!)
- Going for a medical check0up only to discover your new gynaecologist is a total hunk (Desperate housewives alert!)
- Receiving a bunch of McDonald's discount coupons in the mail.
- Sneakily removing "Reserved" signs from tables at Zouk's Wine Bar.
- Getting a 20 cent discount off $1 ice cream because you flirted with the pushcart uncle. (only for DHW's only. DHH (Desperate House Husbands) can work with flirting with a pushcart auntie)
- Checking out a cute guy/girl and having him/her check you out at the same time.
- Solving the mystery of the secret farter in your office (it's in the darting eyes and abnormally rapid post-fart speech)
- Looking drunk when you're stopped by the traffic police at 3am - and of course, you're sober (it only applies if you are on the driver's seat. They won't care if u are the passenger)
- Grabbing a fistful of food samples when the supermarket promoter has her back turned to you. (wha lau.... CHEAPO!!)
- Walking into a pay-per-use public toilet without paying the 20 cents. (U hold until u reach the Mrt Station, FOC one, that is if u can hold till then)
- Slimming mirrors in changing rooms (If u know where to find, please write in my TAG, All my gal frens WANTS to know where it is!!! Getting slim without diets and [name of slimming center] is a real cheap trill )
- Watching transvestites at Orchard Towers.
- Watching clueless ang moh tourists leering at transvestites at Orchard Towers.
- Watching the super para Beng shake his booty at the games arcade (too bad if the para beng has a Wii at home, shaking booty has become a private affair from then on)
- Blithely dropping hotel room towels onthe the bathroom floor.
- Discovering that a restaurant forgot to charge you for dessert when you're already on your way home. (the more expensive the dessert, the SWEETER it will be)
- Throwing 'outside food' wrappers into a bin in a fast food outlet which doesn't allow 'outside food'.
- Bumping into an old friend who asks, 'have you lost weight'? (Please please please, if u see me, please ask me that... just gimme a kick out of it :P. Genuine comments on my weight loss definitely welcome! :P)
- Beating someone else to the last available seat in a crowded hawker centre.
- When the airplane door shuts and you realize you've got an entire row of seats to yourself for a long haul flight.
- Ending up alone in the lift with your office crush
- Gossiping with a colleague on MSN - especially if she sits just beside you
- Using a lame fake name like 'Valentino Chi Chi Tan' when making restaurant reservations (siao one, but... i like!)
- Receiving an email from your boss which reads: 'I'll be on leave for two weeks'.
- Watching Little Britain clips on YouTube during office hours.
- Taking a day to mull over that expensive pair of shoes you're eyeing, and discovering that it's 50% off the next day.
- Jabbing at the 'close' door button in a lift just as someone's rushing towards it,. And the door shuts before the person can see your face. (It's mean... but really can get a kick out of it..... i know, because, *gulp, i've tried it, on unknown neighbors..... sorry la)
- Two consecutive public holidays on a Friday and Monday (No such thing in Singapore, unless u apply for leave on a Friday before a public holiday that falls on a Sunday)
- Stocking up on tissue paper from the back of a cab
- Making a monkey face at a brat in the next car when his parents aren't looking - by the time the tattletale's told them, you're innocently looking elsewhere. (Got kick sia! but not gut and/or opportunity to try it out. How do i know how a brat looks like?)
- Strolling into the office with a cup of tea and discovering that your colelague just bought a big bag of fresh curry puffs
- Owning a virtual pet (neopets or facebook?)
- Pretending there's a spelling error by gasping loudly after your colleague just spent $10,000 on printing new company brochures (poor victim...)
- Sniggering at hideous staff photos on the office website instead of typing out that report.
- Getting free bottled water when you pretend to peruse the wares at certain jewellery shops
- When the person besides you at a wedding dinner pushes hiw bowl in your direction and announces "i'm against eating shark's fin!"
- Waking up early for work and realizing it's a Sunday
- Repeatedly striding past a Japanese restaurant just so the waiter has to shout, "Irasshaimase!" (japanese for welcome) every time you do so (bo liao huh...)
- Getting stopped in the streety by a scout from a modelling agency. And turning him down
- Googling your name (Try it, when you are super bo-liao!)
- Spying on your ex in Facebook
- "Poking" at random cuties you stumble upon on Facebook
- Getting through to a live dedication show on the radio (for 16 and below)
- Drowning free champagne at a party
- Getting a larger slice fo cake than the other guests at a birthday party
- Sneaking burgers and been hoon into Golden Village cinemas (wha.. prize winner if u can really sneak through)
- Telling someone "i told you so" (to put it blantly *hokkien* Lim-Peh ka li gong....)
- Snapping photos of your butt with your camera phone (must be super bo-liao)
- Watching Live the dream
Anyway, enjoy this 50. I'm sure everyone's guilty of a few!!
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