Before I start, I would like to pre-warn the following:
A) it's gonna be quite wordy - no pictures as I am blogging from my iPad .
B) I dunno if this entry will happen, since I have never blogged from the iPad yet.
C) it's a serious topic.... Maybe dry too, but I believe my sharing will help many ladies out there.
I believe many, many,many entries ago, I was in my twenties, and I always have this incessant complaint of stomach bloating and burping, and shared my search online abt what exactly I think I am suffering from. All symptoms led to IBS. And I lived with it knowing that yes, my love for chilli will make it no better.
And every other month, when I have my period, I will complain abt cramps and stuff like that, and then I stopped, cos it is just a recurring event in my life.
Everything was running accordingly, and normally, as I thought, until 2013 came. The first 2 months was weird. My menstrual cycle was crappier than the usual 26, and it was like 24 days. And I was having a lot more discomfort than other months. It kinda dawned on me that something is not very the right with me, but I also dunno where to start to find out how. And, I didn't even buy any women related insurances (cos I don't really believe in them).
So, I fell sick in late February 2013. It was just a common cold that the GP has diagnosed, and he asked me if I have further queries, and I told him my symptoms. I have told him on previous occasions abt stomach bloating and he did a basic examination and prescribed bloating meds. This time, he felt a hard mass, asked if I could make any claims from my company, and got me to go to NUH to do a scan.
From then, my mind was in a whirl. Bo Dai Bo Ji do scan for what??? That was what I thought. But when I saw the look on the GP, I kinda got worried, but I guess, doing a scan won't hurt much. And it's a good thing, since I'm no longer a yuppie in my 20-s.
The following week, I was scheduled to see a Gynae-oncologist at the O&G at NUH. He did a basic examination, informed that I should do a CT scan, which was scheduled in the following week. To prepare for the scan, there's a 12 hour fast required. Apparently, the mass is quite high up, near the rib cage. And.... I can feel it.
The CT scan was quite an experience that u won't want to go through again.
I read abt the procedure , what are the contrast required, namely injection and orally. What I didn't expect was the insertion through the suppository (so they can see your colon). Google did not tell me that!
Even for public healthcare in Singapore, a CT scan of the Thorax, Pelvis and Abdomen will cost about $1,300-$1,500 and unless if u are a cancer patient, you cannot use Medisave. I rather pay cash! Which I was really thankful for the bonus that I've kept for rainy days.
The next day, I got the result from my Gynae, and it took me about a week to come to terms with it.
I have a mass that is about 20-25 cm, which thankfully does not edge to any organs, but there's no indication of whether if it's benign or malignant. The only way is to have open surgery and take it out, do frozen section before deciding on further actions :
A) benign - take out the mass
B) borderline or malignant - take out mass, remove belly fats, and the lymph nodes at pelvis, and some cancer fighting treatment.
The stay at the hospital will be at least 4 days, downtime about 4-8 weeks.
For someone who has never been hospitalised before, this is a bit too much to handle. My cg mates gave me advice, checked out my insurance for me and arranged for me to see a 2nd opinion at Gleneagles, which gave me a similar diagnosis to take it out.
My ministry mates and Pst encouraged me to take it out at the soonest, but at that point in time, I was lost, as my parents were not aware. I was shouldering the emotional stress of this whole incident. Not a good thing.
Being a super high SC person, I tend to let emotions take a backseat, and think practically about what need to be done:
- confirm who will do the surgery
- where
- cost
- preparation pre op
However, emotionally, I wasn't ready to tell my folks. Which is something that I know that It should not be the case.
My folks were informed 4 days after the diagnosis. My mother was totally cool and zen. We saw the NUH Gynae and set the operation date for 3 April 2013.
Today is 17 April 2013. It is about 14 days post the exploratory laparotomy.
As the entry is getting a lil too lengthy, I'm gonna chronologically point what I'm gonna share.
01 Apr 2013
I stopped work, and then gave myself the 2nd to prepare myself.
Ps: I did nothing, seriously. There's nothing to prepare, and trying to sleep and eat is a difficulty in itself.
02 Apr 2013
Waited for NUH to call me to inform of admission timing, as I'm admitting on same day of operation. I had to report at 8am, which translates to the operation at 11am.
Borrowed 2 Jodi Picoult's books to read. But seriously, scrap that. No energy to read at all during the stay at the hospital.
Need to make sure my admissions documents are proper, and my IC and my soft toys and cushion are packed into the luggage for the 'hotel' stay.
03 Apr 2013
Reported to Day Surgery Centre , changed, waited and then got pushed in a wheelchair back to the NUH main wing operating theatre (aiya, just tell me to go straight to Main building can Liao, still report to Kent Ridge Wing, wor?)
Many OT staff will keep asking me to verify myself, my IC number, and the surgery that I am going for, and ensure I know what is coming.
Quite a fair bit of waiting, but the last thing I remembered before being knocked out was that my Gynae said that I should be a drama queen, not a HR. 搞笑 much?
It was like a flash that i woke up and realised that I was all tubed up with IV drip and morphine, and the urine catether and was pushed to my B1 ward where I was groggy, and yet I know who visited me (Diana, Michelle, Weiying, Rosa, and Kristine).
The most amazing thing is i can still reply messages on Whatsapp.
04 Apr 2013
Woke up to be pushed to do an x-ray in the comfort of my bed. I knew what I was going for, the x ray for pelvis, uterus and bladder.
My mom informed that I had a fibroid that grew from the cervix that covered the uterus, and grew leftwards up, which explained why the mass is quite high.
There were some complicated procedure where I had a tube sticking out from underneath to let the cervix-uterus link grow and connect, and another tube to protect my kidney, which I need to remove at the Urology department in May 2013.
I got panadol stuffed up my anus which is very the new to me. But it's due to me that is still on no food diet. I was only starting on liquids on Day 1 Post op. I had jelly and milo and soy milk which I totally didn't touch. It was quite manageable to eat the jelly.
05 Apr 2013
Pst, Jus and some of the cg members came to visit. And sadly I still had the IV and the catether on me, and cos of it, I was wearing a sarong. Totally unglam, even though it was hidden beneath my blanket.
This day, the Gynae wanted me to start walking. I was like, ARE U KIDDING ME???
Anyway, I didn't , but managed to sit up on the bed (after all, it's an electronic bed mah, need to use it appropriately)
I got new roomies after 2 days of Super A1 ward. With 2 crying babies, my nights are just.... Horrid. Remind me if ever I get hospitalised again, 老娘. Will pay for A1!!!
06 Apr 2013
IV drip and catether was removed! Bliss, but the tube still hangs out and I need to have it with me for the next few weeks until it comes off at the Gynae. Started on solid food.
Seriously, there's something about hospital food that has this weird taste about it.... Totally unappetising.
On this day, I also started lotsa vomiting of greenish bile. Eat < half a meal, throw up once.
How to go home like that hur??? (4th day here Liao) and a bit discouraged, seriously.
07-09 Apr 2013
More people came to visit, and encouraged me. I stayed the weekend at NUH... Totally sianz. And still throwing up and no appetite.
Seeing the light finally on Monday, when Gynae came to visit. He gave more anti-nausea meds , prescribed iron supplements for me and the dreaded Diane 35 (contraceptive pills to stop my period, and it comes with weight gain as a side effect)
Tuesday came, and Caylin and Patrick came to visit, with a cute vase of fresh flowers. Awwww totally sweet of her, since she just finished her confinement.
Headed for home on 09 Apr, with a medication bill of $279++ and counting, and an interim hospitalisation bill of about $13,000+++
Home is definitely better. My appetite became better, I misses my bed like crazy, and definitely won't miss the smell of the hospital.
I wanna thank the following people who are there for me:
1) My mother - she's my basic caregiver, and she has to shower me, feed me my meds (盅 my 6 hours of Panadol as if she's candy crushing), and wake up many times cos I had to go to the toilet in the middle of the night . She's definitely amazing, ESP with the little monster (my naughty niece) , the new baby, and the upcoming toilet upgrade to worry about.
2) Jus - she's the first person to know apart from myself that I needed to do the scam, and helped me through, encouraged me, showed me articles of ladies who got fit, super fit, after a laparotomy.
3) Pst AZ - I told him around the same time I told Jus. He did not say much, but just encouraged me to go for it, and not to worry. Even with the COC thingy, he made time to visit me at NUH , and even reply my whatsapp ESP that I told him I was super frustrated.
4) Visual Comms - the support is tremendous, they actually tracked me pre and post op. super touched by their love. And my 2IC Phileo, thank u for standing in the gap and taking such good care of the team. I will be back soon! Thank u Karen Chua for ur valuable advice especially when I was super unsure. Thank u Sihui for sharing ur experience with me, and accompanying me to my 2nd opinion. The support is tremendously appreciated.
5) TV1 - totally feel their love and concern throughout this time. Misses attending the cg . Thank u all for the visits, whatsapp and many prayers for me. Love u all!
6) My comrades at work - thank u for the 生鱼精 and the very practical sleepwear. I wear them everyday. Thanks for covering my shit when I'm away. Looking to fight these MOs together when I'm back to work in May.
7) SOT 2009 Team 27 - thank u Tong, Caylin and Pat and the rest for praying for me. Loves the fact that our team is still together 4 years post graduation. Buddies for life!
Special thanks to the following doctors and healthcare workers:
1) Dr Lim Lye Kitt of Healthway West Coast - really owe it to you that this mass was captured and subdued in time. Knew that u r good when u sped up my mom's treatment at SGH of her nodules and stomach reflux. Really appreciates it.
Gonna write him a nice thank u card.
2) Dr Joseph S. Ng of NUH O&G - thanks for being the funny surgeon who made me super beh tahan with his 'u can eat rojak post-surgery', but u made me think through my decisions on when I wanna discharge and when I should discharge.
Oh btw, the western school of thought doesn't restrict on seafood, nuts, eggs and cold stuff consumption. For us Chinese, steer clear until all clear!
(tried a day of cold drinks and paid the price the next day with lotsa discomfort and cramps)
It's quite a bit of uncertainty where this humongous mass is concerned, but I know that I trust u totally, and u know I do. :)
3) Dr Fong Chuen Wee at Gleneagles Medical Centre - thank u for ur advice and recommendations of surgeons for the op, though I selected back my first Gynae. Ur input has been valuable.
4) Staff nurses, Assistant Nurses, and Physiotherapist at Ward 48 NUH - u ladies are amazingly patient with me even though I kept puking, nua-ing, emo-ing, and all the midnight request to go toilet.... Not forgetting my 三八-ness. The 6 days weren't easy, but yea, we made it!!!
I wanna thank God, for the very sure assurance beforehand that I know that the mass is definitely benign. And I didn't go for the surgery fearful, though anxious, but in all things I put my trust in Jesus.
This blog entry serves the purpose of thanking those who has carried me through this though period. I'm 14 days post surgery today, and currently the appetite is good, but the incision is still a bit sore and having some pains.
What I really marvelled is the amount of meds I'm taking, to stop bleeding, iron supplements, panadol has become my best friend, and I'm on this contraceptive called Diana35 till July so that my period won't come, but my face is just bloated like never before.
As for the remaining 4 weeks of my hospitalisation, I just need to rest, ensure the wound heals well, go for follow up faithfully and await the day to remove the intruding tubes away.
Hope is helps some gal out there who need to go through any similar guelling surgery like this, someday, somehow.
~totally blogged from my iPad~
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