Yesterday i was talking about my emotions, what i might show. But well, i didn't really show much emotion until i was talking to WY in the morning, on msn. Well, u see, i often talk to WY on msn, when she's at work. And we were not in the same group of teleconf last night. So i saw her online, and just chatted with her. So she told me where the rest are going and where she's going.. She'll be going to a friday cg lah.. Hmmm.. i dunno when, but i think when i was msn-ing half-way, *Gosh* tears started to fill my eyes. Man! I think hor, i'm seriously really overly 'S' already.. Thank God i was on the pc, so at least she didn't see [sense ??] that i was shedding tears in front of the pc! but well...
Today i spent a lot of time on the internet.. Talked to WY, and A, my buddy [was an ex-cgm] whom i was really close with, and still am. She happened to be online and i told her about the reshuffle.. So i was talking to her, and i forgot what she typed, and then *repeat* the tap started to flow... She asked me to share about how i feel.. Hmmm.. I didn't know what to say at first.. but, i told her i can't bear the thought of those that are close to me for the past few years, that we are going separate ways . [tian1 xia4 you3 bu4 san4 zhi1 yan4 xi2] Yeah, and what holds for me in the new cg. I mean i dunno lah, even now as i'm writing...
But i think i was quite embarrassed when JF called me to chat, and talked about it.. i was quite composed u know, so it was until he said about sitting together for the last time, that emotions just caught me [man, as i'm writing now, i'm shedding tears... :'( ] and i choked... that statement really opened the tap.. thankfully he didn't ask, and i didn't say anything.. But... [ok.. need to recompose myself now] it was really a good time of fellowship...
Hmm.. just realize that this week is such a looonng week. Hope it comes slowly. I'm not saying that i'm not affected -at all- yeah, but such things creep up on me slowly. just very she1 bu4 de2...
i'm finished with today's posting, before my tap goes on again :(
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