The tough gets going

Like what i've said the previous post, things are really looking up in a very positive way.

As of now, we are confirmed on our Internet line and has arranged for our telephone lines, our access cards system (double LOL, we are having wireless!!! :) ) , our sprinkler, our blah blah blah. I have only one comment on our new landlord: So Gian Lui!!!! Every little detail must ask for money. I mean, admin fees also need, water fees for sprinkler also need, blah blah blah.... I dunno what's the problem with them. I mean, if others do that, i can understand, the MY office doesn't have this kinda sh** that's been going around [ps. maybe ETA has endured them.... which i hope not]

Anyway, this is going to be a very happy post.

And the main reason for the happy post is because, i've dealt with the issue that has been pending in my heart for the past few months.

Hmmm... shall i share?

Ok... some points here and there.
1) When i went for mission trip last year, i took NPL which amounted to $400 plus.

2) I set aside about $300 out of my pocket to pay for ticket, accomodation etc etc.

So here, i have spent out like a total of $700.

And of course minus-ing off that NPL into my Aug salary, my pay is really a bit hard for survival, esp with CPF.

3) Life became a bit miserable, because i have to pay my insurance, my gym, blah blah blah... which amount to at least $400 per month.

4) Took quite a bit of NPL here and there to go for interviews, and they amounted to at least $200 - $300. Things started looking very bleak....

5) Flashforward to Nov - Dec. Despite being able to have a better salary paycheck than at MP, i was still in lack, being A&B season and barely started to recover from the damages from August. I got into terrible lack and had to borrow from friends, who graciously assisted, and one even bless.

6) Gave what i need to give faithfully and yet still in tremendous lack. The anger in my heart grew and i became disillusioned.

*** End of pointers, don't see the need to emphasize more***

I knew that last year was a real challenging year for me. And God really tested me BIG TIME, that i nearly thought that i had really come to the end of it, as to whether if i am really going to throw in the towel, and say

I GIVE UP!

I really thank God that i didn't. I know that GOD is always faithful. Though not in the season where my Needs are humongous. I knew that i got angry with GOD. I was reluctant to pray for a season, because i felt at that point in time, that there is nothing, NOTHING that anyone (or even GOD) can do.

Even setting my goals, it was really with my carnal mind. I mean, come to think of it, some goals are really reflecting my anger (Class 2B, blah blah blah).

It was until after ministry on sunday, that the songs of Delirious? really captured me. I know that it is something that I MUST DEAL WITH, or that will really be the end of my walk with GOD! I know that i have come to the point of moving forward or moving backward. Seriously, it's really a very thin line between the 2. And i decided to pray.

There, in the secret place, i ranted. In the secret place, i realized that my love for GOD indeed supercedes all the difficulties that i've faced. Though i'm really pissed off by the whole situation, i know that nothing, NOTHING beats the love of a FATHER, who gave HIS SON for us. I was brought back to the place, in memory to a time where i was praying, and crying to God, telling God that

.....no matter what happens, I will NEVER leave YOU......

I remembered that. And beyond that, a love that really supercedes all the sufferings that i had been going through. I know that GOD will not bring us to a situation where we can't survive.

From there, i prayed, i lifted up the hurt that has been burdening me for the past few months. And i know that my breakthrough is coming. And it brought a smile, and lifted up my spirits.

Now, though i have to half my A&B amount for this month and maybe in the next few months or until i get a way to increase my finances, but i know that i am able to save the 10% (which i'm adamant about not touching it, period!) What i can do is to trust GOD for financial breakthrough, either through tuition assignments or something.

Most importantly, i know that i have emerged, STRONGER.

*****
Note to my CGL or whoever is reading this: This post is not meant to display my anger, I totally have no intention of doing that. But it serves as a reminder of to myself, as well as to others, that

1) We are not to take our salvation/relationship with GOD lightly. You never know when u will come to the point that i've been through. It wasn't easy to bounce back, i can tell u, as i said that moving foward vs backsliding is only a thin line in-between.

2) What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. I H.A.V.E. S.U.R.V.I.V.E
if you are going through a situation like this, Jesus is holding your hand is riding together with you in the storm. Don't let loose of HIS hand and give up!!

*****

Upcoming entry
Viewer's choice 2006, my favorite commercials will be listed, and as to why i love those entries, you have to stay tune for the next entry.

And if u are interested to vote, you can have a preview of these commercials at

http://www.mediacorp.com.sg/viewerschoice2006

And i'm doing it because i am unwilling to pay money to vote, and i don't think i'm that interested in the $20,000 since it's not a sure-guarantee win, so why waste money... i shall save on the voting fees. =P

I'll just share which commercials i love. I know it's a bit bo liao, but this is in one way, pursuing my marketing side. I still love marketing, though i know its not within my career path now. :)