Today's topic is :What you want to hear what others say about you?Well, to think of it, to draft out your own eulogy is a bit far-fetched. Because, EVERYONE will regret what he/she hears. So, i decided to change the question a lil bit.
Let's say that you happen to find yourself in a situation where 2 ppl are talking behind your back, what do you wish to hear what they say about you?
More positive right? =)
Before i go on, i remembered that there was one time in secondary 3 that i went for OBS in Pulau Ubin (Old site), and i happened to be dispatched to a group where i have 2 other classmates. Well, that that time, i was very emotionally shut-down, very introvert and more-or-less anti-social among my classmates. I'm not a very difficult person, just that i entered into a more different culture.
Anyway, i know that i am quite different from them, and i do have great difficulty relating to these 2 ppl. It was a fun, 5 days Sea Expedition, but at the same time, torturous emotionally. Because, i simply can't relate to them much. And it happened on the 2nd night of the camp, that we were in the toilet. So we were the last 3 ppl in the queue, waiting to shower. So i was like minding my own business, and the other 2 gals were talking talking talking. So, there one of them got a cubicle and the other gal and i waited, in awkward silence.
Then, a cubicle is made available. I was in the queue, and the other gal was bargaining. So, i just let her shower first. So i waited, and on a hunch, i decided to lie. I told them that i'm going back to domitary first. And i opened the door, made some footsteps sounds, and closed the door, without moving. So i kept quiet.... for a few minutes.
Then the 2 of them conversed. This is an edited version of what they said. U have to know it's been like 11 years since then. Memory is not that vivid now.
Gal 1: I think PH (me) is not happy that i go first
Gal 2: Yah lah..
....babble babble babble....
Think it's something that's not very nice. I can't remember. But i was eavesdropping on what they are saying. And it's not pleasant.
They went on and on, until the toilet door open, and a gal from another group, came in, and was surprised to see me....
I was sorely disappointed. Because to me, it's not nice to talk behind ppl's backs like criticize. My stand on such things is this: IF YOU WANT TO TALK BACK ABOUT ME, SAY IT TO ME, DON'T LET IT LIE ON THE GRAPEVINE. I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE!
Fyi, it still applies now. If u are not happy with me, just talk to me directly. Don't stab ppl in the back! Whatever you sow, you will reap. Remember that.
What i want ppl to say about me:1) Amicable --> I think for one, i take quite a while to take to ppl, to relate. I know that i'm more active in the blogsphere as compare to face-to-face communication.
2) Accountable --> Well, i guess i still need to work on this. I lack communication skills here and there. And it didn't really help that i was emotionally shut-down for quite a few years in my secondary school life. I'm not now, i have to emphasize. But there is tendency to shun communications even now, i have to admit.
3) Able to fit in to whichever group i am --> For one, though i'm part of e9, but sometimes, i still feel that i'm quite out-of-the-league (a lower one, that is) with the rest. I dunno how to describe it, but, i think when i lunch out with them, half the time i'll be listening, OK make it 3-quarter of the time, just eating and an ocassional question-and-answer. They are really fantastically friendly and nice ppl, but i am 110% sure that EVERYONE can feel the wall that's building in-between the lunch table. Hmmm....
I really want to communicate well with you all.
Ok side-track a bit, seems like when i msn with them, i can talk more freely, but when coming to face-to-face, it gets a bit .... hard. But, i am coming out of the shell. I promise. I know that u guys won't leave me in the lurch, so i'm stepping out. Gimme time ok. :)
4) To be someone that is reliable and trustworthy --> I think i am someone that can be quite reliable. I'm very particular about being tight-lipped when ppl share secrets with me, when i've promised. My word is my bond.
5) To be someone who's a friend in need is a friend indeed --> Just by being there, to support. I may not be able to provide a solution, though i try to, but being there, sometimes is the best for the person that i can encourage. I am not perfect, i also want to be able to provide encouragement in my know-how.
This reminds me vaguely of what Glyn said, when she was reading out the eulogy for R.S. last year at his funeral service..... He was a real wonderful guy, a wonderful friend, someone who's willing to go the extra mile, without the other party expecting it. A great guy through and through.
***Sorry dear friends, just a sudden, unintentional flashback***
Well, think 5 points are enough for me to work through what i need to improve for now. But there are definitely more points to work through.
Next entry
I intend to share on chapter 5 of the book which is about the techniques to improve personal productivity. I'm officially half-way through the book!!! Yippee!! Exciting! I've just finished on a chapter on Project Management, which is pretty relevant, though i'm not into projects, but it's an added knowledge.
Time down to 5th Mar is getting nearer and nearer. And i think the time frame is enough for me to 'devour' the book.
See ya next entry!!!
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