When i first started counting down to SOT since last April, i was very confirmed and set in my heart that 2009 will be a totally different year for me. It will be the year where after 9 years of waiting, that i am finally stepping into what i really wanted to do - to attend Bible School!
In January 2009, i started to count down, on my msn messenger. From there, the figures changes daily, from 90 days....... and then till last month where i saw 30 days. From 30 days, the countdown gets more and more exciting. And today, is the first time, the countdown is in ONE DIGIT.
And yes, today is 9 days away from School of Theology.
How do i feel? Seriously, i am very very very excited. After all, attending SOT this year is always in my mind. I was literally living the whole of 2008, eating, praying, breathing, thinking about SOT. I am totally focused.
Of course, when the months became shortened to days, things get intensified. Like, how do i pay off my school fees, seeing that i've taken a great step of faith, to put everything that i've initially saved for SOT, to give into the building fund. And struggling with various decisions regarding to my career, on to go or to stay.
Not forgetting throwing caution into the wind, and really got myself hanging in the air, and God MUST come through for me, lest i perish (ahh.. ok, not this extreme lah). But God is always faithful. I've experienced so much favor of God this year, with me receiving desirable tuition assignments that pay oh-so-good, and tremendous favor of God where work is concerned. And having supporting bosses and co-workers really makes my life feel so Heaven-on-earth.
So Boss, and Sarah, if u are reading this (though.. haha...120% not possible!! HAHA.. HMMMMM), just wanna say a great big thanks and wanna give u guys a great big HUG!!! Love u guys!! Thanks for inconveniencing yourselves for my desire to study God's word, and still showering me with care, concern and love.
I've gone through a lot of feelings especially these 2 months. Like, insecurity (and it's really a lot a lot a lot). U know, it really took a lot out of me to tender my resignation, and telling it to him face-to-face. And i struggled a lot with what's gonna happen and all the "what-ifs".
I experienced favor, on how my Boss wanted me to stay, and how my co-worker, Sarah really went the extra mile, with much encouragement. And also getting $25/hr tuition assignments, when i saw that it's really tough to get such assignments.
I experienced a lot of worry, which are unduly. Telling my parents after i've settled everything on the work front, is liken to hmmm... stabbing them in the back?? But after praying much and worrying even more about what's gonna happen, actually it's not difficult.
So u see, it's quite a lot to go through prior going to SOT. But i know that everything that i'm going through, it's all worth it! And i know that after experiencing all these, i know that i'lll treasure every single moment of SOT. Because it's not readily set for me; i attained it with much prayer, faith and tears.
I am ready for a greater time of molding. It will be a year of difference and breakthrough for me.
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