Roller-coaster ride

No this is not Viewers Choice Part B.

It has been days of stressful and twitching of eyelids (yeah, i admit that i am indeed very overwhelmed by the shift, and it wasn't easy for me to get settled down properly). And, i realized that these few days, i wake up with a very tired mouth, and feeling very worried that my 'implants' will drop. Guess i have been clenching my teeth while sleeping. Hmmm, another sign of stress.

I was very very very tired. Even though since Sunday, i slept like 10pm and wake up at like 7am on Monday. I was very grouchy and yeah, maybe a bit PMS-sy (that's not the point at all). Anyway, i was very challenged at new things that are being put to me. I seriously thankful for a chance to learn, but usually when i need to ask, it seems like i couldn't have any answers or the answers never come on time. And there's only to a certain extend that i can be helped.

Anyway, i worked till like 7plus ytd, and after that ETA came back from his meeting, and was clearing stuff. And he suddenly called for me. So we sat, facing each other and we talked.

We chatted. I guess he sensed that i am stressed, which i really am! And he gave me some informal feedback on what i was currently doing. Well, it wasn't that good. At least i knew that i wasn't going in the exact correct direction. And one problem is that i dunno how to reject ppl's requests esp when i need to handle time-sensitive stuff.


I forgot what he said, and at one point, my tap was turned on. I mean, it was pretty embarassing! NO IT'S SOOOO EMBARASSING. Well, actually, to think of it, it felt really good, because i kinda 'release' all my stress. He was real encouraging, and he gave many suggestions on how to improve my work, like, learning to reject ppl, learning to prioritize etc.

Ppl outside the room thought that i got diao for a long while, but actually, he only talked for 5 mins, the rest of the 10 mins, i was sitting in the room, trying to stop the tap, and it failed! :S

***

After that, i wanted to go gym, but because of a stupid toe injury, i can't run, i can't vent my stress away. My very nice colleagues just took me out to this place near to Parklane to have a drink. Well, Irene (she's been really helping me very very much.... She directed, i went around excuting stuff) suggested going there. And Scott and Siew Ling went along. Hmmm. Though there were times i was alone with Irene, and she's been trying to find out how i really felt, but then, guess i wasn't really prepared to share what's in my heart.....

Until we said our byes', and i was slowly walking back to Bugis (remember my bai-ka toe?), she called me out of the blue. She said certain things, that made my tap flow again. Man! Is she psychic or what?! But i'm really grateful that there's someone who really understood. She didnt' say like

I understand how u feel.....

Not of that at all. But i felt that she totally understood how i felt, and there's a warmth that i felt into the deepest end of my heart. The warmth of friendship. I know that when i run into problems, i know that i won't be drowning in my problems, the ppl in e9 will not just sit there and watch me drown.

I am really very thankful to God that i can be here. I know that God is really good to me, placing me in places where the management always extend their grace towards me, giving me colleagues that brings warmth to my heart, helping me when i didn't know who to turn to. I know that i am not going to take this for granted in any day.

Love you all!!

Upcoming entry===> It's either Part B of viewerschoice 2006, or.... pictures of beautiful IOI office. Stay tuned.