HUO!!!!

HUO!! Meaning.....in chinese with the 4th tone.

This means, going all out for something.

Maybe if u guys didn't really realized; I hasn't been talking much about my financial problems.

Thank God, that the problems seem to be going away.

I'm learning to save prudently.

And my method of daily tracking and budget seems to go on to a higher level with the progress of every month. And i think my way of saving is really getting better =)

Based on me able to save money from the month of February, in conjunction with CNY.... I've managed to save money. And up to now,it's been quite a substantial amount, and i think i'm quite pleased with myself.

For the past 2 months, i've been halving my BF. Though spiritually there are still struggles around, esp with the area of trust, but i felt a strong conviction in my heart to finish up my builidng fund. That was Thursday.

And there was ministry during CG. Karen prayed over me, said certain things. THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE. And, people! Never underestimate your cgl's anointing of discernment. Well, the things she said including my lack in seeking the Lord in my life, which of course leads to me needing to trust the Lord all over again. That opened the tap.

To be trueful, I am really quite disappointed. Because i felt that i really gave my best; it's like 15% of my salary, for goodness sake!! And that was a time where i barely had time to recover from my loss when i went overseas. I even increase the amount, because i just simply believe that He will provide.

The first month was the toughest, but it was a great sense of achievement initially, followed by tremendous lack that set in. It was like that for 2 months, until reality set in. I can't give like what i desired. If not, i'll always be in lack. And the hard decision to halve my giving. But i didn't realize that i got bitter, angry, disappointed and eventual disillusioned....

I tried to pick myself up, prayed over it, have a positive mindset. And thought everything will be fine.

I can trust GOD for things, except where money is concerned, I TOTALLY CAN'T SQUEEZE AN OUNCE OF FAITH FOR IT.

I need to learn to trust GOD for finances wise. Until now, though all the prayers have been said, i kept telling myself that He will, He definitely provides..... But, the sad thing is, things never happen.

That was like what i went through the past few months.

But, this month is different. I've rested, I've managed to save money. I've 'enjoyed' enough. It's time for me to start on it again. But, the difference is, saving money will still be in the 'program'.

I fulfilled the 4th instalment of the building fund. And i have 2 more instalments. Though as i calculated (i have become really obssessed with that quite lately) like crazy with every spending, and even need to forego many things for the month, and 2 more months ahead, but i know that I am going to fulfil it, whether if GOD will remember me. Because it's my promise to Him. My word is my bond.

In the area of trusting GOD in this particular area, i'll need time to pick up the ball again. For now, we see how it goes.